Prosperity

Sharpie drawings on white walls. Coffee on a white blouse. Red wine on white carpeting. Each represents a permanence I had wished applied to everything in life. For long periods at a time, I believed in permanence, and hoped nearly everything lived up to that expectation. But certain instances drew me back from that notion, not necessarily forever, but at least until my twenty-first year.

When I reflect on my experiences, specifically when a person or a constant was ripped from my life, I recognize the same emotional torment. A death, a break up, a new job, nearly any change created a pit in my stomach. Until I released the negative emotions, more so anxiety and fear, the pit would grow deeper and deeper. Eventually affecting my overall well being. Not only did I need to address my emotions, but my unrealistic expectation of permanence. 

Once I reluctantly came to the understanding that nothing in life is a forever constant, I was able to grow as an individual. I may not have realized it in the instance, but the moment a family member or friend pried the torment out of the pit, he or she taught me that releasing the dwelling negativity was the pivotal point of channeling my negativity into growth. Hindering my inability to address my emotions was the attachment I'd made to permanence. Had I not let go of the cyclical angst, I would still be brewing in adversity. 

The initial prying of my emotions had never set well. I could not understand why I needed to discuss something I barely interpreted in my own mind. But, every time I expressed what was strengthening the negative pit, I weakened it. As I expressed myself more to various individuals, I also realized that one specific opinion of my emotions or thoughts was not necessarily correct. By picking pieces of each loved one's opinion, developing my own response or turning point became less of a challenge. Reaching out was the crucial factor in understanding that my emotional thought process was not a permanent cycle, it was something that would grow. 

Now, I am able to react better to adversity. I still struggle in communicating the origin of the emotional trauma, but with patience and love from my family and friends, I eventually reach the root of my emotional state. More importantly, I have set in my mind the cliche that one moment does not define me. My adjustment to negativity and even positivity creates my definition. Every individual is given challenges that he or she can handle. Without adversity, emotional strength would remain at a plateau. The point of life is growth in every aspect. After accepting that simple thought, opportunity and growth are limitless. 

I genuinely appreciate the food for thought I've received from Angela, Paul, and Sam. Without conversation with each of them, I would still be growing into these realizations. 

Bijoux

A full moon illuminates the evening sky. Breezy gusts of wind break the lingering humidity of the past few days. Light footsteps and subtle voices occasionally disrupt the conversation at hand. Looking forward, I see a glowing fountain dead center in the pond, reflecting the moon's luminescence. The bridge to my right has a majestic essence, draped lights tempting lovers to steal a kiss. To my left a fish leaps from the water deterring my concentration. As he continues to speak, I'm more distracted; gazing at his profile until the green chroma of his eyes meet mine. A sharp, devious movement catches my eye. Viciously black, what I deem to be a tarantula, slinks down the stone ledge beside us. My frantic expression causes him to glance over and chuckle, then take my hand, leading me down a dimly lit path. 

Hearts&Spiders

I am forever thinking about what it's like to fall for someone. We always think we will have some sappy romance, but does that really happen? I genuinely hope it does, because frankly I have very high expectations. Everyone thinks they are "in love" in high school, and maybe they are... I'll give some the benefit of the doubt. But how do we really know if its love, or more likely lust?

In our twenties, I'm not sure love is a realistic expectation. The amount of people we still have the opportunity to meet, along with the countless nights spent out... Who knows what relationships will develop. A friend of mine had said her mom always told her "the best way to meet people is through people." Makes total sense, because you at least have the reassurance they aren't complete wackos since they are a friend or acquaintance of someone you know.

So after meeting, how do you decide the guy buying you drinks is the guy you should date, or the guy to run away from as you send SOS texts to your friends? I think girls need a creep radar or body guard half the time... Maybe that's just a little paranoia thanks to my mother. We can base our opinions of someone new on that of other's. For me, I have to determine my own impression, find out for myself what someone is like. Maybe it's a little risky, but hey, no risk no reward.

Along with that risk, I think meeting a few times is crucial. One night is absolutely not enough. Depending where you are, if you or he has had a few drinks, literally a thousand possibilities are prone to giving out the wrong impression. So if you have good vibes, might as well persue it further. That person just might be the one for you. And if not, that's okay. Plenty of fish in the sea, right? 

I truly think that dating, finding someone to share your life with is the most heart wrenching fear I can ever have... Maybe besides spiders. There are so many thoughts that constantly run through my mind: what if, my friends told me this, I think something else, what are they thinking... But when it comes down to it, I'm going to stick to my guns about the expectations I have.  Base my opinion on what I think, of course with the consideration of other's opinions. And pray that I find someone that complements me to a T, vice versa too! ;) 
 

Yolo

Everyday we are faced with choices, ranging from minor to major or life-changing. When it comes down to it, the only realistic reasoning to decision making is whether or not it will be beneficial or pose future consequences. As young adults (or at least in my case), decision making may be mildly altered, as we aim to have fun and live our lives. Thus, leading to one of my go to tag-lines: Yolo.

"You only live once, that's the motto, n*gga yolo."

Thank you, Drake, for making this one of the most famous acronyms amongst teens and young adults.

At this point it may seem annoying and overused, but it has become one of the most popular decision making factors in most every situation. Some may bash the motto, saying it degrades the true meaning of living life to the fullest, but is it really THAT bad? You truly never know if you'll be in a similar situation again, so might as well take advantage. Maybe it's an excuse we use to ease consequences, or gives us the guts to do something we've been afraid to, but in the end doesn't it lead us to experiences we will learn from, which in turn help us live life to the fullest?

Should we go out tonight or stay in?
-Yolo, let's go out.
Should I really send my résumé to this company?
-Yolo, never know where a mediocre job may lead.
Do I really need to eat this candy?
-Yolo, it's delicious.
Want to take a another shot?
-YOLOOOO!

Maybe not the most logical reasoning, but hey, every experience will help shape us into our true persona.

We are young, wild and free! The times we experience now will be the memories we reminisce on later. Eventually, I'm sure I will be that old fart who complains about "kids these days" and their logic. But for now, I'm keeping my yolo mindset. You never know where decisions may lead... New people, new opportunities, or unfortunately, new repercussions. As we grow into seasoned adults, we will find more meaning to life, appreciate different aspects than we may right now. Until maturing to that perspective, we have to grow into who we truly are.

So go ahead, talk to the person across the room you low-key stare at every class, go out with new people even though your shy, rock the new trend you saw in Cosmo. YOLO. How else will we experience life to the fullest if we don't face decisions, even fears without a young, optimistic mindset?

Número Uno

Blog. Isn't this the new trend? Might as well put my Comm. and English skills to some use. If Morgan Stewart from E!'s Rich Kids of Beverly Hills can do it, so can I.

How do you know what to write about?  Is this even going to be read? Any inspiration?

Maybe I should focus less on interviewing my non-existent audience, and share a little more of what's on my mind... Like how in the hell people become famous for blogging. I don't understand. You just start writing then one day voilà you're famous. Praying that happens to me, because from the looks of it, I don't think fame will be anywhere in my near future. No matter how much I cyber stalk the rich and famous, I continue to remain at a standstill on the scale of celebrity status.

So I guess this is my first effort at a claim to fame. MirandaPetes28. The blogger. 21 years old, college student, secretary, single, forever wishing I was related to the Kardashians. A typical 20 something hoping to fall into an amazing life of luxury, that nearly everyone this age dreams of.

Yet, oddly enough, I think my twenties will be the time of my life. So far 20 and 21 have yet to disappoint (minus a few hangovers and confrontational incidents with acquaintances, who will remain unnamed). Regardless of good times and bad, every experience I try to take as a learning opportunity. I may have to go through the same situation a dozen times, but eventually I learn. And as I learn, I am trying to become a better person. And honestly, I think thus far, I'm pretty damn great.

So my dearest, potential readers, I hope you cross your fingers as I cross mine, that this will miraculously start my road to riches.